


Real

by harryisqueen



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Body Horror, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2018-12-18 09:51:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11871834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harryisqueen/pseuds/harryisqueen
Summary: He loved her. At least he thought he did. No, he knew he did. She was real. At least he thought she was. No, he knew she was.  He was perfectly sane. At least he thought he was. No, he knew he was





	1. l

     Liam still lay awake at 4:42 am his eyes staring up at the ceiling blinking. In nights of insomnia like these, he thought of her. He loved her with all of his being, with everything in him. She loved him too he was sure of it. With an annoyed sigh, he threw the blankets off his sticky & sweaty body and trudged his way to the kitchen. A midnight; well more so 4 am snack should fix this. He would not call her. He fixed himself an English muffin and sat at the table and laid his head on the small plastic table and closed his weary eyes. His thoughts wouldn’t stop racing. He couldn’t get his brain to shut off no matter how much he tried. He missed her with everything in him. The pop of his muffin finishing it’s toasting startled him out of his sleepy state and when he raised his head there she was.

“Hello dear,” she said with a bright smile.   
  
He stared for a moment before mumbling out a barely audible “hi.”She followed him bare feet padding behind him as he pulled his hot English muffin out the toaster.

 “C’mon” she said pouting her lip out “don’t ignore me, Li, I came all this way just to see ya,” she said reaching a hand out with fingernails bitten down so far they were barely there.   
Once her hand came in contact with his shoulder he let out a small sigh. Liam was yet to say anything besides his simple mildly annoyed “hi” from earlier. She continued to hover over him her breath fanning across his long dark hair that reached just above his collar bones. 

“So,” she said pulling herself on the counter up on the counter and snatching half of his English muffin. “What’s up with the ‘tude you’ve got today,” she said taking a large bite of it then continuing “not happy to see me.” She was smiling that smile that taunted him.   
       
“No, I'm just tired” he mumbled out yet to touch the half of English muffin she had left him.   
 

“Then go to sleep silly,” she said with the giggle he was certain was a sound he would hear in heaven.

 “It’s harder to do it,” he said.   
  
She didn’t understand why he couldn’t sleep. She didn’t understand it was mostly her fault.

“It doesn’t really matter anyway “he continued finally taking a tiny bite out of his snack. “I have to get up in 2 hours and 36 minutes anyhow I’ll be fine I’ll just drink lots of red bull and coffee,” he said dryly.

“Good idea” she squealed hopping down from the counter with a loud thump.

She was always like this encouraging the bad habits he had and knew were bad. She knew they were bad too she just didn’t care. She loved to see him self-destruct.

“How’d you even get here and why are you here.” “Haven’t you heard it’s polite to knock?” he said slightly annoyed but still trying to be kind.

Loving her was the most exhausting thing. She rolled her brown eyes at him. She seemed to do that a lot.

“I came because I felt like it and it none of ya business how I got her” she snapped slightly annoyed at his cross tone with her.

“Besides you should be happy to see me no matter why I'm here.” He could see that annoying temper starting to flare up.

She expected so much from him. She was still harshly looking at him as he struggled to fumble out a proper and apologetic reply that would satisfy her.

“I’m sorry,” he said lamely.

“Good you should be you’re lucky I’m even with you.” He prevented himself from rolling his eyes knowing it would set her temper off.

He finished the English muffed and picked up his plate to bring it to the sink to be rinsed off.

“C’mon let’s do something fun,” she said smiling that dazzling toothy smile.

He loved that smile. His eyes felt heavy with sleepiness. How could he let her down gently?

“I’m tired,” he said.

She shot him a pouty glare. “You weren’t 5 seconds ago.”

He glanced at the clock that read 5:17 am. “Can’t we just lay together or something?” he asked?

He was so tired.

She groaned “I come all this way to see you and all you wanna do it sleep.”

He could sense the annoyance in her cross tone towards him. “In 2 hours and 13 minutes.”

“So,” she said the annoyance in her voice evident.

“I have to wake up in an hour and 13 minutes” he continued.

“So,” she said repeating the same phrase from earlier.

He was so exhausted.

“Please,”he asked more so begged lamely.

She just glared at him. “Fine if I’m not wanted I’ll just leave” she snapped at him.

“No,” he said loudly slightly startling himself. “Please” he started lowering his voice “I need you here to help me sleep.” He wouldn’t be exhausted if she’d just stay.

“You don’t love me do you, Liam.” She said her brown eyes welling with tears.

“No I do love you” he insisted desperate for her not to cry.

“Then if you love me you won’t sleep and instead take me for a drive.”

He was so tired.

“I’ll take you for a drive tomorrow and we’ll do something tomorrow” he bribed.

“Let’s just sleep for now.” She narrowed her eyes down to slits at him clearly annoyed.

She let out a huff “No if we aren’t doing it now I’m leaving.”

He didn’t know if he blinked or if she disappeared right before him but she was there one moment and gone the next. He was so exhausted. He ran a hand over his face. After minutes of just standing in his kitchen, he finally moved.

 He regretted not complying with her. He could’ve slept tomorrow. He didn’t sleep that much. He sat on the side of his bed wishing that she would just come back to him. He needed her. He needed her so he wouldn’t be so exhausted. After staring at his blue striped duvet for a few moments he pulled back the blankets and laid in his lonely much too big bed. He wished she was there with him so he could just sleep. The one thing he needed most she didn’t want for him. He closed his tired weak eyes knowing without her he’d never get sleep. He was so exhausted.

 

                                                        *************************************************************************************  
His alarm clock blared out at precisely 6:30 am. He didn’t want to wake up. His dreams were riddled with her. Only her. He was so exhausted. He pulled his heavy tired body out of his bed. His bed was never a comfort to him never had been. He pulled his usual light jeans from his drawers and the first shirt in his closet. He tiredly made his way to his kitchen for a surprise. There she was in one of his shirts sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal in front of where he sat. 

“Mornin Liam,” she said with that dazzling smile that never failed to draw him in.

He sat down and stared at the bowl full of his favourite. Froot Loops.

 Her giggled rang through the kitchen. “I forgot the milk silly me” she rose from her chair and he watched her sashay to the fridge.

“Who forgets milk with cereal,” she said with another one of those heavenly giggles he loved so much.

He grabbed the milk from her hands with a tiny smile.

His hands shook a little bit as he poured it. He was so exhausted.

“How’d ya sleep last night” she questioned?

“Fine.” He was confused he thought she was mad at him.

“Why are you here?” He questioned but caught himself knowing that would set her temper off.

“I thought you were mad at me?”

“Well I am still mad you but I can’t have you talking to any other girls.” She said again with that smile.

He was so exhausted.

“Well what are you waiting for go ahead and eat,” she said.

He spooned the cereal into his mouth watching her as she pranced around the kitchen fixing him coffee. He finished his cereal before she had finished his coffee. He stood up to rinse out his bowl just as she finished. She had made it in the little black cup that he could take with him.

“Thank you” he mumbled out.

“Liam” she spoke just as he was about to walk into his room to grab his backpack. “Next time you ignore me like that I won't come back,” she said.

“I know i'm sorry,” he said. He was so exhausted.

 

When he grabbed his backpack from his room and had returned she was gone. He was sad she was gone but also relieved. She exhausted him further. He walked out of his apartment locking the door behind him. Once reaching the end of the hall he turned around and walked back to reassure himself he had locked the door. Once he reached the parking lot he climbed into his car.

 

*************************************************************************************

     He couldn’t concentrate that day. He was exhausted. The professor’s voices and students around him sounded like they were speaking a foreign language. He was relieved when the day was over. He was so exhausted. When he reached his car his kinda friend Niall stood there waiting for him.

“Hey,” NIall said shooting him a slightly concerned smiled.

“Sup” was Liam’s standard response.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” Niall asked bluntly giving Liam that annoying worried look he seemed to get a lot.

 “Yeah pretty well actually” Liam spoke lying through his teeth.

He knew he should feel bad lying to his kinda friend but he didn’t’. He was just too exhausted.

“Really bro” Niall said with a chuckle. “You look terrible.”

Niall was never one to beat around the bush. Liam just blinked back at him. When Liam had told Niall about her. Niall thought he was crazy. Niall told him he was crazy like he would know. He didn’t care what Niall said about her. He loved her and she was real.

“Yeah I’m fine I swear I’m not lying,” Liam said giving Niall his most convincing smile. He just wanted to not be so tired.

“If you say so,” Niall said looking at him like he definitely didn’t believe him.

“Alright, i'm gonna go,” Liam said climbing into his car.

Niall waved to him as he pulled out of the schools parking lot. He had been driving for barely 5 minutes before she showed up.

“God he’s so annoying,” She said from the back seat rolling her eyes.

“He’s my friend,” Liam said.

He was so tired.

“I don’t care he’s annoying plus his hairs ugly” She spoke as if his hair had anything to do with his personality.

“Maybe he thinks yours is” Liam shot back trying to be teasing.

Mistake. He should’ve known she would take that joke seriously.

“You hate my hair she sneered at him.”

“I never said that” he tried to protest.

Emphasis on tried.

“It’s that slut from your history class isn’t it." "You’re sleeping with her aren’t you.” She spat at him

“Wha- no” Liam was confused.

He would never do that to her. He was so exhausted.

“Pullover,” she said.

“Why,” Liam asked confused?

“Just pull over for God sake,” She said raising her voice.

He pulled the car over and turned around to ask her what was wrong. When he turned around she was gone. He screamed and slammed his hands against his steering wheel. He was just so exhausted.


	2. II

Liam awoke in the grumpiest mood yet and with a pounding migraine. She hadn’t stayed out of his dreams in the few hours he managed to sleep. He was sick of her presence. He didn’t wanna go to school today. He knew his sort of friend Niall was worried about him. Therefore he had to show up to not further worry his sort of friend Niall. He pulled himself out of bed at 7:17 precise. Which was13 minutes precisely before he had to be at school. He was gonna be late. He didn’t really care though. He was just so sick of her presence. He didn’t even bother with breakfast. Honestly, he didn’t need food just like he didn’t need sleep.

Once he reached the school his sort of friend Niall was standing in the parking lot talking to some other student he wasn’t sure the name of. He focused his eyes back to finding a parking space. Then there she was. He slammed his breaks sending his body jerking forward than backward. She was smirking at him with those lips he loved so much. Then she was gone. Then back again. In the passenger  
side.

“I missed you Liam” she pouted at him with her perfect rosebud lips. 

Something was different about her today. He couldn’t quite place it. Suddenly she jumped across the console and locked their lips. He was just so in love with her presence. Her lips tasted like grapefruits. Bitter but sweet. He loved it so much. She disconnected them with a satisfied smile on those perfect cherry coloured rosebud lips. 

“You went to bed early last night” she observed her dark barely there eyebrows furrowing.

He swallowed thickly. He went to bed at 4:00 am. He never wanted her presence to go away.

“What’s that about” she questioned sounding annoyed at him.

He started to speak but was interrupted by a tapping on his window.

There stood Niall his thick slug-like eyebrows furrowed at him.

“Classes start in 5 minutes bro,” Niall said to him through the glass of the window.

Liam glanced at the clock on his radio that read 7:26.

“No they don’t” he blankly stated.

This only confused Niall further.

“They start in four” Liam elaborated.

Niall looked like he didn’t know whether to laugh or ask him if he was okay. He went with the first and let out an awkward chuckle. Liam climbed not so daintily out of his car.

“I’ll meet you inside,” Niall said.

He walked off in that weird way Niall walked. Once Niall was gone there she was again hovering over his shoulder her barely-there nails tracing his neck. He was just so satisfied with her presence. Her tracing stopped after a few seconds and she spoke from that beautiful enticing mouth of hers.

“So why’d ya go to bed early?”

“I don’t know sleeping was easy for once” he mumbled out for some reason ashamed.

She let out a laugh. Though it wasn’t really a laugh it sounded like a mouse being strangled.

“Why do you think it was easy.” she asked.

She was definitely annoyed. He just wanted her to be pleased with his presence.

“I don’t know” was his lame response.

He felt cornered. He knew she was mad at him.

“You know I like it when you’re awake so I can pop in whenever and you’re always available,” she said staring at him.

He admired the way the sun hit her dark cherry hair. He loved it. He loved her

 “I like your sleepless nights,” she said to him playing with the ends of her beautiful straight hair.

He loved her presence and he was just so exhausted.

“Don’t you like them?” she asked him her large brown eyes gazing at him.

“Don’t you like it when I come for nice late night visits?”

“Of course I do it’s just.” He was interrupted at that point.

“You don’t love me” she stated bluntly her long lashes blinking innocently at him.

Her lashes just might possibly be his favourite part of her.

“I do love you but I’m just tired” he tried to explain his feelings.

Then she was gone and he was left with an empty feeling. He was just so tired. Tired of her presence. Tired of her. Liam began walking to the building. Upon glancing at his watch the time read 8:19. He was almost an entire hour late. Niall would be worried. Niall would have questions.

He hid in the bathroom. He hid in there from 8:22 till 8:47. He approached his next class late. Not because of her but because of his sort of friend Niall. Niall was a curious person. A worrier too. He knew he would ask why he never showed up. He was just so tired. He sat through the class anxiously waiting to get out of there. He wanted to go home so he could sleep. Just sleep. He was tired. So so tired. The class released at exactly 9:37 am. He left the classroom. He was going home to sleep.

He didn’t manage to avoid Niall on his way out though.

“What the heck man ya never showed up for class,” Niall said to him the second he saw him.

Liam just looked back at him with a blank expression on his face. Niall’s nose had little freckles scattered across his nose & cheeks.

“Liam,” Niall said trying to regain Liam’s attention.

Liam’s eyes darted from Niall's freckles to his pale blue eyes.

“Yeah sorry” Liam replied to him.

“I asked if you wanted to come over tonight Louis is coming over too if ya wanna just hang,” Niall asked offering him a smile.

Liam just blinked back at him. It was really up to her.

“I’ll think about it, it depends on how I'm feeling,” Liam said sending Niall a forced smile.

Niall seemed happy with his response and walked off to his next class.

 

                                                                   *************************************************************************************

There she was once he came home. She was sitting on his old couch. Her jeans were clearly too long as they covered half her feet.

“Liam” she squealed hopping off her spot to greet him.

She wrapped her thin, pale & freckly arms around his slim waist. She got on her tiptoes and pecked Liam's cheek delicately. He just wanted her to love him.

“So Niall wants me to come over and hang out with him and Louis tonight” Liam started.

Her beautiful brown eyes rolled. “Niall is so annoying” she complained.

“He’s not so bad,” Liam said.

There go those beautiful large eyes again rolling. Her thick eyelashes blinked at him in that way he loved maybe too much. He just wanted her not to be annoyed with him.

     “I say you stay home with me,” she said running her hand up and down his arm.

The little hairs on his arms rose at her touch.

“C’mon it’ll be way more fun than Niall and Louis.” She shot him one of those dazzling smiles he loved so much.

“I want to but Niall might get more worried and more annoying if I don’t” He tried reasoning with her.

Her full cheeks puffed out the air she was holding in her mouth. A habit she had when she was annoyed.

“Why don’t you wanna be around me” she demanded in that tone he hated.

“I do but I haven’t seen Niall in a while” He spoke explaining himself.

She narrowed her eyes at him. Then she spat those hateful words he hated so much.

“I knew you weren’t strong enough to be around me” she glared at him those beautiful brown eyes full of hate.

“You don’t really love me” she continued.

“Are you gay” she let out that beautiful chuckle he hated so much.

“You’re cheating on me with Niall aren’t you?” She let out a laugh.

A cackle almost.

Liam was shocked at the hateful words spewing from those beautiful rosebud lips.

“No of course, not I would never,” Liam said reaching out a hand to try to comfort her.

She stared at him. There go those brown things again rolling into her head in annoyance.

“You’re so annoying Liam” she huffed stomping out of the room.

Her short legs tripping over the length of the jeans she was wearing.

He was just so tired of presence. When he entered the kitchen he was surprised to see her still there. “

Text Niall you’re not coming tonight” she huffed out the demand from those beautiful cherry coloured lips.

“Why” Liam was confused he thought he had told her he wanted to go tonight.

 

     “I’ve decided we should move away,” she said shooting him one of those smiles he adored.

He was confused. Why did she want to leave? He just wanted her presence so bad.

“Why” Liam questioned?

“Cause if we leave you won’t have annoying Niall on your back and you won’t have to go to that university anymore,” she said listing off all the reasons.

“But-“Liam tried to protest to this random absurd idea.

“No Liam if you love me you will move away” she demanded.

He was conflicted and confused. He just wanted her presence with him so bad. So he told her he’d move.

“Goody,” she said in that beautiful tone he loved oh so much.

“Don’t tell Niall he’ll try to stop you.” she said speaking from those wonderful cherry lips.

“Don’t you think he deserves to know” Liam questioned her?

“No, he doesn’t love you or support you like a friend should so he’ll just try to stop your dreams.” She said smiling at him.

That wonderful beautiful smile he loved far too much.

“Only I love you” she spoke the words he loved to hear.

“I love you too.” He answered back to her.

“I’ll be with you forever” she spoke in that loving beautiful tone he loved so much.

He had her presence but somehow it didn’t make him feel the way he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	3. III

LIam was most definitely not crazy for following that girl he loved so much. No, he’s crazy at all. He needed to feel her love. It had taken him only 25 minutes to pack. He left most of his stuff behind. It was mostly her insisting that encouraged him to leave everything behind. “C’mon baby we’re starting a new life together you don’t need that” she was speaking of the vase his mother had given him. “The only things you need are your clothes and me” she had said that speaking of the pendant his mother had given him. All he needed was to feel her love. Her tiny hands with those barely-there fingernails encircled his wrist as she led him out of his apartment. He was tempted to drop this whole crazy plot. That beautiful voice of hers stopped him. He needed to feel her love.

 

 

     He sent the text to Niall at 5:30 pm precisely. Liam liked things precise.

He had sent Niall a simple“can’t make it tonight have fun!”

He didn’t even feel bad for lying. Niall replied at 5:37 pm precisely. Liam liked precise.

Niall had replied with “Okay bro maybe next time?” He replied at 5:40 pm precisely.

Liam liked precise. She sat there in his backseat hovering over his shoulder. Her warm breath fanning over his shoulders. He liked her warm breath. It made him feel not so alone. He just needed her love. She hadn’t spoken at all from this beautiful rosebud lips. Her silence made his ears ring. She had sat in the back seat until 1:42 am. She finally spoke at 1:43 am.

“I love it when you take my advice; this was a good choice for you to move,” she said in that voice he loved so much.

 

They stopped for food at 4:50 am precise. Liam liked precise.

“How many,” the bored waitress asked him her teeth peeking from between her slightly yellowed teeth.

“Um 2” He replied in a just as bored tone.

She furrowed her eyebrows at him then spoke “is the other coming along later?” She questioned clearly confused by his normal request.

Liam just blinked back at her.

“Alrighty, then sir right this way,” she said shooting him an awkward smile.

She led him to a small table right next to the window. She trailed behind him her flip-flops making that noise. Flip-flop. Flip-flop. Just like his heart made around her. He needed her love.

 “I think you should get a burger and fries,” she said smirking at him.

“We can share that because we both like that.” She shot him one of those wondrous straight dazzling smiles.

“Okay,” Liam replied.

He would do anything to have her love. The waitress their order and went to put it in. She was the first to speak up while they waited.

“So Liam are you tired yet,” she asked him those beautiful rosebud lips in that way he loved so much.

He cleared his dry throat and took a sip of the water the waitress had brought to him before he spoke.

“Not yet but I might have to stop to rest before we reach California.”

“C’mon Liam don’t be a baby you don’t need rest,” she said to him.

“But we still have about 28 hours to go,” he said trying to reason with the beautiful captivating girl.

 She huffed at him. “Whatever you just don’t like to respect my wishes do you” she scowled at him with that beautiful mouth then continued.

“How many times do I have to tell you, you don’t need sleep you need me.”

Liam was ready to reply but then the waitress came and when he looked back she was gone. He just needed her there with him with her love.

 At 1:27 pm they reached Utah. She wasn’t anywhere so he decided he would stop at a hotel if she showed up he would just say he wanted a rest. He didn’t need sleep he just needed her love. The vacancy sign was blinking in bright neon red lights. He walked up to the front desk to request a room. The moment he reached up there he felt hot breath on his neck. Her hot breath. 

“What do you think you’re doing” she hissed in his ear in that cruel voice he hated.

“I’m tired” he muttered somehow feeling ashamed.

“I don’t care I told you, you don’t need sleep we just need to get to California” her beautiful face with those full cheeks had a large scowl on her face.

 The man at the desk was staring at him in a strange way. He watched the man’s thin pale pink lips move forming words. Words that Liam seemed not to be able to comprehend.

“Just leave” she demanded in his ear.

So that’s just what he did he turned on his heel and walked out of the hotel climbing into his 2002 red Subaru. Once he was sitting in the car her head whipped to look at him. Her dark cherry hair whipping around her face.

“Why don’t you listen to me Liam you don’t need sleep you don’t need Niall you don’t need anyone or anything besides me,” she said to him ending her sentence with a charming toothy smile.

All he needed was her love.

 With that sentence, he put the car into reverse and pulled out of the parking lot to the hotel. She sat next to him for the next 4 hours. His eyes were so tired. He just needed sleep. He was just so exhausted. But he loved her so he wouldn’t sleep. He felt himself starting to drift to sleep. He had been up for 32 hours. She was still sitting next to him staring straight ahead.

“Can I pull over for a sec please to just rest my eyes” Liam practically begged the beautiful girl next to him.

He just needed her love. Her brown eyes snapped to him. She blinked at him for a few seconds those thick eyelashes brushing against those rosy pink cheeks.

“Why” she questioned looked perplexed by his request.

“I’m kinda falling asleep right now and I don’t want to crash and hurt you” Liam mumbled.

That ashamed feeling was starting to creep into the pit of his stomach once again.

Her silence was deafening. He just wanted her to say something. Anything. He just needed her love. Finally, she spoke. It had felt like an eternity.

“Go ahead” her soft voice spoke.

She smiled at him the corners of her cherry coloured lips rising with her smile.

“Thank you,” Liam said feeling grateful.

He could take a break just a small one. Once he had pulled over he felt her crawl over the console into his lap. Her little feet curling around his stomach.

“You can only rest for a couple minutes you don’t need sleep you just need me.” She had been repeating that phrase since they left.

 

                                                             *************************************************************************************

 Liam was jolted awake by a harsh shaking on his shoulder. Once he opened his eyes there she was. Her dark cherry hair falling around her perfect circular face. Her lips were puffed out in concentration of waking him up.

“Wake up Liam you said only a few minutes,” she said in a whiny tone.

“You don’t need sleep,” she said repeating that phrase she had been saying since early that day.

“I know,” he said.

He wasn’t quite as sure of himself as he wanted to be. She smiled at him that charming smile he loved so much. He put the car into drive and pulled off of the side of the country he had pulled off onto.

They had been humming along to the radio as they continued on their way to California.

“How far away are we?" she questioned him.

“About another 10 hours” he muttered his reply back to her.

“Awesome,” she said in that giddy voice he loved so much.

At that moment his phone vibrated from its spot on the console next to him. He began to reach for his phone to check it but he felt her hand intercept and grab it instead. He focused his eyes back on the road waiting in silence for her to tell him who it was. She let out a little groan.

“What’s wrong” Liam questioned.

“It’s your friend Niall god he’s a nuisance” she complained.

“Why what’d he say,” Liam asked his curiosity peaked.

“He’s worried about you,” she said putting air quotes with her wonderful fingers with barely-there nails around the word worried.

                                                                     ************************************************************************************

    Liam had been driving almost none stop. He was so exhausted. He just needed sleep. No, he just needed her love. She had disappeared 37 minutes ago precisely. Liam liked precise. Her beautiful voice was ringing in his head

“No one else loves you just me.”

The wonderful words he’d been yearning to hear since he first saw her. Liam was just so tired. She didn’t want him to sleep and what she wanted is what made him happy even if it might hurt him. All he needed was her love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts?


	4. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thog

Liam had left Brooklyn at 5:00 pm Wednesday. He arrived in California 6:19 pm Friday. For the past day, he had been receiving texts from his kinda friend Niall. Most of them reading something along the lines of

“Where the heck

are you, bro, you like disappeared. She told him not to tell Niall where he had gone. So he ignored Niall. He never wanted to ignore her. She had guided him to a hotel she wanted them to stay at till he could find an apartment.  
  
Despite being awake nonstop and only having around 3 hours sleep in the past day he couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard he tried. Every time he tried to close his eyes she was there hissing hateful words in his ear from those beautiful rosebud lips.

“We came here to be together and you wanna sleep, really Liam do you even love me?” He wished he could just ignore her.

He had given up on sleeping precisely 56 minutes ago. Liam liked things precise. She offered him her company but he wasn’t sure it was what he really wanted. Her big brown eyes with those thick dark lashes just stared at him. When those beautiful full cherry lips did speak they spewed nothing but hate. He blamed her coldness on his lack of sleep.  
  
He felt himself finally starting to drift off. Finally, sleep. Finally an escape from her hateful words about him ignoring her and not loving her. He just wanted to ignore her. The moment he fell asleep her dreams were riddled with her and the hate she spewed at him.

“No one loves you Liam, not even me I just feel sorry for you because you’re literally insane” she cackled in that hateful cackle he hated so much.

He didn’t understand. She loved him. But she hated him.

“No one loves you like I do.”

“I feel sorry for you honestly I’m the only one who can ever love you.”

He woke up many times during his sleep last night and it was the furthest thing from restful.  
  
She was there in all her glory when he awake. Her short pale legs with little scars around the ankles. Her long arms with the bony hands attached with those ever-present barely-there fingernails. Her bosom large and full. Then there was her face. Her beautiful face. He never wanted to ignore her presence.

“Hi ya Liam feels like I’ve been waiting hours for you to wake up,” she said to him.

She had an odd look on that beautiful face. Her dark sparse eyebrows were furrowed causing little wrinkles on her forehead. Her lips were puffed out in concentration.

“What’s wrong?” Liam asked her.  
  
“Your friend Niall has been texting you all morning complaining about how if you don’t reply soon he’s gonna call your mom or something.” She was clearly annoyed by the concern his kinda friend Niall was showing towards him.

“Just text him back and tell him I'm fine and that I’m with you,” Liam said sending her a smile.

She seemed delighted with this and her bony fingers with her barely-there nails flying across the keyboard of his phone.

“Are ya excited to find us a nice place?” she said setting down the phone in her lap with the prominent probably much too large thigh gap.

“Yes I am I’m so excited we’re able to be together,” Liam said smiling at her.

He could never get annoyed of her presence.

“Me too Liam!” She squealed running to him to connect their lips and throw her thin arms around his neck in a hug.

“Oh, and Liam let’s make sure you don’t meet and new friends so that you won’t have anyone to take you away from me,” she said to him with a sorta smirk on those cherry coloured rosebud lips.

How could anyone get annoyed with her presence? Liam just smiled back at her.  
  
  
He climbed out of the tiny hotel room bed to glance at the clock that read 5:53 am. He walked to the kitchen to prepare himself something to eat for breakfast.

“What are you doing Liam?” She asked walking about behind him almost seeming disgusted.

“I was gonna make myself something to eat before we go look for a place to live” he replied to her feeling that guilty feeling creeping into his stomach once again.

“Well you don’t need anything to eat” she snapped at him those big brown eyes rolling briefly into her head.

“Oh okay, then I won’t eat anything and let’s just go find somewhere to live,” Liam said a smile taking form on his face at her happy expression.

“Yay,” she excitedly shouted starting to make her way to the door of the hotel room.  
  
                                                             *************************************************************************************  
They had been searching for an apartment all day. Liam had liked apartment number 4 but she didn’t and that’s all that mattered. How could anyone ever get sick of her presence? She liked apartment number 13 that they visited that day. It was a slightly beat down cheap apartment and she liked it and that’s all that mattered to him. All that would ever matter to him. So by 6:45 that night Liam had an apartment.

“I’m so glad we could get an apartment” she spoke to him in that excited voice he loved so much.

“Me too” he replied shooting her an exhausted smile.

He was just so exhausted.

“C’mon Liam” she shook his shoulder then continued

“no time for going to sleep you need to try to find a job!”

Her enthusiasm is what fueled him to go to a home depot at 7:49 pm to ask them if they were hiring. He was just so tired. He filled out an application then made his way back to the hotel he was still staying at.  
  
She was there to greet him at the door with one of her dazzling toothy smiles.

“So Liam do ya have a job yet,” she asked expectancy in her big brown eyes.

“Not yet it takes a couple days” Liam mumbled barely able to speak from the levels of exhaustion he had.

He just needed sleep. Then she switched. It was almost as if someone had flipped a switch inside her.

“What do you mean not yet you need to have a job by tomorrow” she spoke In a voice full of hatred and disappointment that he decided he hated most of all.

“I thought you were good enough to at least get a job at a hardware store but no” she sneered continuing to spew hate. “You’re not even good enough to get a job.”  
  
Liam just blinked back at her not entirely sure what triggered her anger. His brain could barely focus. He was just so tired. He was so annoyed of her presence. All Liam managed to mumble out was a halfhearted

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry” she started with a cackle but was the most beautiful cackle he decided he had ever heard.

“You’re a failure Liam” she finished.

Then she was gone. He didn’t know whether he blinked or she disappeared right before his eyes. All he knew was that she was gone. That meant he could finally sleep.  
  
                                                      *************************************************************************************  
  
     He expected her to be there waiting for him like she always was after they fought and he’d wake up the next morning. She was nowhere to be seen. He hadn’t had time to feel any guilt for their fight last night. He was just too exhausted. But as he woke up and she was nowhere to be seen he felt as if he might actually be sick. Hot tears pricked the corners of Liam's brown eyes. She was right he was a failure and he had failed her. He hated himself for that. All he craved & yearned for was her presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts?


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some mentions of self-harm in this chapter.

She hadn’t come back yet after 3 days. Liam knew he had royally screwed up. He just missed her so much. The last night without her in the apartment she had picked out was the loneliest night of his life. Niall hadn’t stopped texting him. Frankly, it was getting on his nerves. All he wanted all he craved and all he needed was her. So here he was on the sidewalk in front of the home depot he got a job at wishing her to come to him. He looked up from studying his hands and there she was. But it wasn’t her. No most definitely wasn’t her. He rubbed his eyes.

There she was still before him. Standing there in all her beauty.

“I hate you Liam and as does everyone else” she evilly spat at him.

He could no longer see her. Just hear her.

“You’re an idiot for treating me the way you did.”

“No one loves you, No one” she spat viciously at him.

He was loving the cruel words she spitting at him. They sounded so beautiful coming from those wonderful lips.

“Look I’m so sorry” Liam tried to apologize to her.

All he needed was her forgiveness.

“No you don’t” she spat. “

You don’t love me if you loved you wouldn’t sleep” she hissed in his ear.

He could feel her warm breath in his ear but he could not see her.

“I’m sorry it won’t happen again just please come back” Liam begged hot tears blurring his vision making the street lamp lights look odd.

“No you need to learn a lesson you won’t be seeing me for a while.”

With every word, she spoke he felt his heart cracking.

“If you truly love me then in the time I’m gone you won’t sleep or speak to anyone,” she said her voice somehow becoming warmer.

The thought of her coming back warmed his heart.

“I’ll do anything for you to forgive me," Liam said speaking his thought aloud.

Then her face was right in front of him

“Thank you Liam time will tell though.”

Then she was gone. He wasn’t sure if he blinked and she was gone or she disappeared. He pulled himself up from the sidewalk determined to fulfil her wishes. He had to do as she asked he had to. He loved her. He needed her presence with him to keep him sane.  
  
     The first thing he did when he got home he texted his kinda friend Niall. All he said was an

“I’m fine I went to visit mom.”

Then he left the apartment and went to the small river and flung his phone into the river. Now his kinda friend Niall could not get in between Liam and her. After he returned back from getting rid of his phone there she was.

“Hey Liam” she spoke giving him one of those smiles he loved and missed so much.

“You really made me happy by doing that,” she said standing up from the chair was sitting on and wrapping her bony arms around his arms.

“I did,” Liam asked her in a hopeful tone.

Maybe now she’d forgive him. Just a few moment later she was gone. Her thin arms no longer wrapped around his waist in that comforting embrace.  
  
Liam decided to pass the time by taking a shower. He must not sleep. As he was washing his hair there she was. She was naked and he could see her ribs poking out from her stomach. Her beautiful pale entrancing stomach. Then she was there in his ear whispering

“do it.”

He wasn’t quite sure what she meant by doing it.

“If you really love me you’ll do it” her soothing voice whispering in his ear causing her hot breath to fan across his naked shoulders.

Then she was in front of him. Holding was looked to be a pair of tweezers. Liam furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Then she brought the tweezers to her pointer finger and gripped the skin of the tip of her finger with the tweezers. Then she twisted the tweezers.  
  
Liam watched as little droplets of blood dripped from the tip of her beautiful long fingers tinting the bottom of the shower a pale pink. She smiled at him a large wide heartwarming smile.

“Now you,” she said in almost a whisper. 

Liam blinked back at her.

“Do it if you love me” she hissed in a hateful tone.

Liam grabbed the silver tweezers from her with shaking hands. He just wanted her to be happy. He took the metal tool and pinched the top of his finger just as she had done a few short moments ago.

Then he pinched the tweezers around the tip of his finger drawing tiny droplets of blood. Pain consumed his body. From his fingertips to his toes. He needed her forgiveness. He twisted the tweezers painfully. He pulled the tweezers away from his finger a small chunk of his finger falling to the bottom of the tub and washing down the drain. The pain in his finger was so intense as it bled quicker than before. He looked up and she was there smiling at him. Then she was gone just like that. He just stood there in the shower dumbly watching the blood come out of the wound on his finger.  
  
Eventually, he stepped out the shower and wrap the wound on the tip of his finger in toilet paper then went about getting dressed. Once he opened the bathroom door where she was again. She was still naked and was beaming at him.

“I’m so proud of you Liam,” she said flinging herself at him like she had done earlier.

He wrapped his arms around her tiny slender body. He could feel her spine with his hands sprawled across her back.  She pulled away and pecked his cheek lightly with her beautiful full lips. He relaxed and let his eyes softly close and relished the feel of her lips on his bony cheeks. He willed her to not disappear silently when he opened his eyes.  Nothing seems to go right for Liam though.  
  
                                                  *************************************************************************************  
  
Liam didn’t sleep at all the night before. He needed her forgiveness. He would not sleep. He pulled his car into home depot’s parking lot at 9:45 that next morning. He was 15 minutes early. He decided to go ahead and go into work. Good first impression huh. He walked into the building and into the back and spotted the man who had interviewed him. He decided to walk over to the man to announce his arrival. He tapped on the man’s shoulder to gain his attention.

“Ahh Liam you’re early,” the man said immediately recognizing Liam.

“Yeah I figured since I got here early I might as well just come in and get to work,” Liam said giving the man a small smile.

“Alrighty then,” the man said clapping a heavy hand on Liam's back then continuing

“you can go ahead and get to training.”

 Liam gave the happy man a small nod of his head.

“Alright, son this way,” the man said starting to walk away to guide Liam to were the training class was held.

What Liam assumed was his boss sat him next to a boy who looked to be about 19 slouched down typing quickly on his phone. Liam sat in silence as he waited for the orientation to begin. Finally after what seemed to be forever a tall man with tall legs and a long torso walked out to talk to all the employees.

“Hi ya Liam” 

Liam slightly jumped then turned to his right and she was sitting next to him grinning from one beautiful ear to the other. Liam so desperately wanted to tell her not here not now. All he needed was her forgiveness. He was grateful when she stayed silent next to him and faced that beautiful body towards the man who was doing the orientation.  
  
The man was talking about safety precautions and Liam began to feel his eyes starting to shut. He awoke himself abruptly every time he started to fall asleep. He was so exhausted. He turned his head to check if she was still next to him. She was concentrating on him, her eyebrows furrowed at him. He turned his head back to the front just as the man finished speaking. Everyone was standing up.  
  
                                                           *************************************************************************************  
\She hovered over him the entirety of his first day. Anytime a customer approached him and he tried to provide them with help she became angry at him. He was just so tired. He was so grateful to be able to finally leave the large building at 8:30 pm. She was waiting for him once he reached his car. She didn’t speak to him at all the entire time he drove them back to his apartment. She finally spoke once they had got back to his apartment.

“Do you like your job?” She questioned him.

“It’s alright I guess” Liam mumbled with a shrug of his shoulder.  
  
“I don’t like it, it takes you away from me,” she said in a slightly whiny tone and a pout on those wonderfully full lips.

“You were the one who wanted me to get it in the first place,” Liam said in a slightly annoyed tone.

Then he felt a harsh pressure on his stomach as she sunk her bony fist into his stomach.

“What is with the attitude Liam don’t you love me?” She asked furrowing her sparse eyebrows at him.

“Yes, of course, I love you,” he said.

“Don’t you want me to forgive you for previous things?” she said a glare taking over her features.

“Yes,” Liam replied.

“Then quit your job and let’s move somewhere else,” she said looking him dead in the eyes with her large brown eyes.

Liam was shocked by her request. He wanted her forgiveness so bad. He wanted her love so bad. He was just so exhausted.

“Okay,” Liam said in a barely audible tone. Her features lit up at his response and she threw those bony arms around his shoulders in an embrace. Liam wasn’t sure what he was doing. All he needed was her forgiveness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	6. VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some aspects of this chapter could very possibly be triggering including car crashes and such so please stay safe if this might be triggering.

For the second time in the last week to leave his whole life behind for her. He had barely lived in California for 5 days. He was so exhausted. He did not want to leave at the moment. She insisted if he loved he would leave right then. So Liam repacked all his stuff shoved it into the black of his red car and set out on his way to Cleveland, Ohio. He was not quite sure why she wanted to leave again. No one had tried to hurt his or her relationship like back in Brooklyn.  
  
Once they were in the car she insisted to keep the AC cranked as cold as it could get. Liam’s whole body burned from lack of sleep and being so cold. His eyes were so heavy and they stung as if someone had dropped acid in them. He had not slept for over 48 hours. He would not sleep though. He needed her love. Therefore, he kept on his way. He was surprised that she had stayed with him for the past 6 hours. Last time when he was travelling to California, she had disappeared by now.

 He felt himself drifting off as he was driving. He needed to pull over. He needed to pull over to sleep. However, he loved her far too much to pull over. Then it happened. He had slipped off or his eyes had closed for a few moments. He was not sure what had happened. He awoke to him flinging forward out of his seat. He felt his body glide through the glass of the windshield. He heard her cackling as he landed on the grass.  Pain filled his body as he thumped into the grass. He could not move. He tried to lift his head up to look around but it felt as if he was glued to that spot on the grass.  
  
Then he heard loud screeching noises of tires and something that sounded like sirens. He felt someone forcing his eyelid open. All he could see was her. Her beautiful face. All he could hear was her. Her beautiful laugh. All he could feel was her. Her beautiful silky creamy skin. He was being lifted by something and placed onto something. He felt himself moving. Was he moving or was she moving him? Pushing him along urging him to keep going.  
  
Then he heard it an unidentified voice screaming.

“Clear.”

Shock waves went through his body making him gasp in pain.  

“He’s starting to flatline” the same voice from before shouted out.

He felt that shock again as someone shouted clear again.

"What happened to the other family” he heard a faint female question.

The man let out a sigh.

“The little girl died” the man replied to her in a grave tone.  
  
  
Then there she was. Standing before him completely naked. A dazzling smiled that he loved so much placed on those rosebud lips.

“How are you, Liam?” She asked him. 

Liam found himself unable to respond his voice came out in gibberish. He was just trying to say he was alright. Alright as long as she stuck around. ‘Cause all he needed was her love. She smiled at him as he struggled to form the words he so desperately wanted to say to her.

Then his view changed. There she was but it almost wasn’t her. Her body morphed and her naked body was covered in cuts. All over her legs arms and face. There was blood dripping from her fingertips as she stared at him and sobbed.

“This is all your fault” she screamed at Liam through a thick heart-wrenching sob.

 Liam could feel himself crying too. He was trying to apologize but all that was coming out was gibberish.

“Why won’t you speak to me Liam this is your fault” she was swinging her bloodied bare arms around in frustration.  
  
Then there was someone else next to her. He recognized that face the second he saw it. Niall was standing there. He was naked just like her. He had a large pink scar that ran all the way across his stomach.

“This is all your fault Liam” Niall screamed at him. 

Liam was trying so hard to say sorry just to make thing right. Then Niall turned to her and connected his thin lips with her puffy cheery shaded lips and began kissing her beautiful mouth. Liam was trying so hard to scream. Nothing was coming out but gibberish.

A little girl emerged from between her and Niall. The little girl's dark hair was pulled into a French braid going all the way down her back and reaching the bottom of her back. The little girl had on a sheer brown nightgown which was ripped in a few spots. Her head was slightly dented with a massive bruise on her forehead. The little girl was crying too.

“How could you do this to me, Liam, I was only 11” she screamed through a sob. 

Liam wanted so bad to just say he was sorry. He was so sorry.

“This is all your fault” Niall screamed at him over and over again till his voice was hoarse.

She and the little girl chanted along with Niall

“This is all your fault.”  
 

Liam was screaming. He wanted them to stop. He wanted to apologize. He wanted this torture to just stop. He needed a break anything. Niall began kissing her again. The little girl remained screaming.

“I was only 11 how could you kill me.”

The girl was crying the bruise on her forehead getting larger and larger and spreading down her neck.

“I’m sorry” Liam was trying to scream.

Everything was coming out gibberish. Then it happened. An intense pain shot through his whole body and he screamed. His body shot forward on the bed he was laying in.  
  
A nurse came running into a room.

“Liam you’re awake,” she said a bright smile on his face.

“Where are they,” Liam asked the kind looking nurse desperate to tell them all sorry.

The nurse's blond eyebrows furrowed at him

“I’m sorry who.”

“Her, Niall and the little girl I have to tell them I’m sorry” Liam was frantic

“I’m sorry I really don’t know who you’re talking about but if you hang tight I’ll go grab your doctor.”

The nurse started to exit the room but Liam stopped her.

“Wait” he almost shouted.

She turned her red hair turning with her

“Yes?” She asked smiling at him.

“What happened,” he asked her.  
  
A grave look passed over the nurse's freckled face. She cleared her throat then spoke

“I’m really not supposed to tell you it’s up to the police."

“Please” Liam begged.

The nurse looked as if she was evaluating her options

“you were in a car accident Liam it was a head-on collision.”

She frowned at him sorrow washing over her features.

“What happened to the people in the other car” Liam stuttered out.

The nurse visibly swallowed and looked as if she might cry.

“Well, there were 3 people in the car a mother a father and their daughter” tears were glittering in her baby blues.

“The little girl didn’t make it the injury to her head was too much and she died on the impact they believe.”

“Oh” was all Liam managed to get out.  
  
    “Yeah” the nurse choked out.

“Anyways,” the nurse said wiping at her eyes then plastering a smile on her face.

“My names Brittany and I’m gonna be taking care of you during your stay here and I’m gonna go get the doctor to check you out,” she said as she walked out the door cracking the door behind her. 

Liam rubbed his hand over his face and burst into tears. The little girl's voice was ringing in his ears. How could he go that far for her forgiveness?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact I felt like I was on LSD whilst editing this.


	7. VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some images of body horror in here so if you are squeamish please be careful. There are also STRONG mentions of self-harm in this Chapter and acts of someone doing it. Please don't read if you are in any way triggered by this. And please ALWAYS remember there is someone to talk to you are never entirely alone there is someone out there to listen and understand. 1800-273-8255 & https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/

 Liam sat numbly on the exam table as the doctor made him follow his finger as he guided it around Liam’s line of vision making him dizzy. He could hardly focus on the doctor’s chubby freckled finger when his mind was running on overdrive right now.

“Liam” the doctor spoke to get his attention.

Liam’s eyes met the doctors

“yes?”

"You were not following my finger very well are you sure your head is feeling alright.” The doctor questioned him his messy grey eyebrows furrowing. 

Liam cleared his throat then replied to the doctor’s question

"yes, my head feels fine I guess I'm just kinda distracted.”

The doctor looked at Liam for a brief moment before walking over to his slim laptop to type something.The nurse pushing open the door to his hospital room caught both Liam’s and the doctors attention.   
“Um I hate to interrupt but the police need to have a brief talk with Liam” Brittany mumbled shyly.

“Of course Brittany I will be done in just one moment then they may come in and speak with him.” The Doctor said shooting the shy nurse Brittany a smile.

She shut the door as she retreated from the doorway.

“Well Liam good luck I’ll probably be in tomorrow to check on you it looks as if there’s no major damage but we’ll see,” the doctor said giving him a kind old smile that resembled one of a grandpa’s.  
  
The doctor left the room and there she was. She was grinning a toothy smile at him.

“Hi ya, Liam looks like you got yourself in some hot water didn’t ya.”

The door swung open before he could reply to her statement.

“Hello Liam my name is detective Anderson and I’m just here to ask you a few questions.”

The man’s accent was thick Liam couldn’t quite place his finger on where he was from. Liam met the detective’s eyes as he sat down. Liam quickly glanced away immediately filling with the guilt of what he had caused. It felt as if some sort of weight had been laid on his chest.  
  
“Now no worries right now Liam you aren’t in any trouble.” 

Liam felt the weight get heavier as the guilt increased inside of him.

“So first off when you hit the other car were you in any way distracted?” The detective questioned him.

“I feel asleep,” Liam said bluntly.

The detective seemed taken aback that he was so quick to be truthful. The detective cleared his throat

“Well, in that case, were you aware that you had been tired before you got behind the wheel?”

“Yes,” Liam simply replied staring back at the detective no emotion to detect on his face.  
  
The detective looked at a loss for words.

“Are you aware of what happened to the other family?” The detective asked clearly trying to crack Liam's emotionless facade.

“Yes.” Liam trailed off for a moment then continued, “The little girl of the family is dead.”

The detective cleared his throat seeming uncomfortable by Liam’s bluntness.

“That will be all, for now, we should be in touch within 7 days is there a number we can reach you at?” 

“No, I broke my cellphone” Liam replied.

“Okay is there an address we can reach you at?” the Detective asked him. 

Liam knew it would be suspicious if he told him he didn’t have a definite address currently so he just gave him his old LA address. After he had supplied the detective with his address there was awkward shuffling and an even more awkward handshake as the detective left. Not even 5 minutes after the detective had left his room door opened again and in came Brittany. She had a pleasant smile on her freckled face as she came in to take his vitals again. He watched her as she walked across the room hips swaying with every step she took. She was humming a light tune as she jotted down his blood pressure and such.

“Alright Liam everything seems pretty good as of now the doctor probably won’t be in to check on you till tomorrow but don’t worry I’ll be giving you good company by checking your vitals every few hours,” she said to him a light giggling escaping her full pink lips. 

Liam couldn’t help it when the corners of his mouth lifted to smile back at her.

“Well I’ll be back in a few hours you can watch tv if you’d like to make sure if you need to get up you hit this call nurse button and I’ll come help you,” she said to him a kind smile on her face complimenting her well.  
  
Liam just gave Brittany a nod of recognition as she walked out the door closing it gently and quietly behind her. It wasn’t even 5 seconds before she was back taunting him.

“Well well well, who’s the slut?” she asked him cruelly.

“It’s just my nurse” Liam replied to her violent tone for some reason feeling ashamed of himself.

She let out a snort at his reply.

“First you kill someone then try to cheat on me” she snapped angrily at him.

“No, I would never cheat on you,” Liam said helplessly defending himself.

“Do you think I'm stupid? killing that girl was just a distraction in hopes you would be able to rid yourself of me” she hissed at him angrily her bony hands reaching to wrap around his wrist tightly.

 Liam grimaced at the pain her tiny bony fingers were inflicting on his wrists.  
  
“Why did you fall asleep in the first place if you had just listened to me and not slept at all nothing bad would’ve happened” she snapped at him her grip on his wrist getting tighter. .

“I’m sorry I couldn’t stop myself I just fell asleep without realizing it.”

“Yeah right you just don’t like to listen to me and now you see where that lands you. You killed an innocent person Liam.”

A large sinister grin was gracing her beautiful features. Liam's lip was trembling at her words he knew what he had done. He had fallen asleep because he didn’t know how to listen to her. If he had just listened to her that little girl would still be okay.

“Just face facts Liam you murdered someone but why are you still alive? You don’t deserve the pleasure of being among the living”

the sinister grin was growing larger on her face causing her pink rosebud lips to split and bleed.

“I’m sorry” Liam choked out through a thick sob.

“No you aren’t” she snarled at him

“If you were sorry you would have listened to me and not slept in the first place.”

“I’m sorry I’m so sorry,” Liam was practically screaming through his sobs desperate for her to understand he was sorry.  
  
  
“No you aren’t you murdered someone because you can’t be strong you idiot” she screamed at him the sinister smile still holding its place on her plump lips.

“You’re a worthless idiot who can’t follow instructions” she snarled at him.

“A little girl is dead because you don’t know how to listen”. 

Liam had curled into a ball on the bed of the hospital room and was screaming out

“I’m sorry” through his thick body racking sobs.

“Oh my God would you shut the hell up,” she said to him rolling her large brown eyes at him.

“You’re pathetic.” Liam tried so hard to take deep breaths but it was as if his lungs were stopping him from breathing in.  
  
“Oh, you poor pathetic baby,” she said to him taunting him.

Her stringy blond hair was hanging around her face as she was bent down bony hands on her knees as she taunted him.

“There’s a way you can fix this make yourself feel less guilty make me forgive you,” she said to him the sinister overtaking her features again.

 Liam sniffled through his sobs and looked up through bleary eyes at her.

“How, I’ll do anything” Liam spoke still choking on the sobs that kept clawing up through his throat.

She smirked at him

“C’mon follow me and I’ll show you.”  
  
After Liam had successfully left his room, he followed her as she raced down the hallways of the large hospital. She finally came to a stop in front of a room that “authorized personnel only” written in bold across the door.

“Are you sure we can go in here?” Liam questioned her in confusion.

“Yes’ she looked over at him a wide splitting grin crossing over her features as she pulled a key card out of the pocket of her long sweater.

She swiped the keycard over the glowing red pad then pushed the door open.  
  
Liam entered the room swallowing nervously as he examined all the medical supplies in the room. She walked past him shutting the door behind him. She stopped walking once she reached a locked cabinet. “How are you going to get into there?” he asked getting more and more anxious by the second.

“Easy,” she said smacking her lips together then pulling a key from the pocket of her long sweater, which dragged the ground causing the bottom to have dirt on it.  
  
She slid the key into the lock and twisted it opening the cabinet as she unlocked it. She reached in and pulled out a small cardboard box. She roughly ripped the box open revealing surgery equipment. Liam stared down at the box in her hand his confusion and anxiety at an all-time high.

“I want you” she began slowly tracing her finger up and down his arm. “To use this on yourself” she finished grinning up at him and holding out a scalpel.  
  
Liam swallowed thickly.

“What do you mean?”

She grabbed the scalpel out of the box and reached her arm out. She dug the scalpel deeply into her skin until she punctured it and dragged it down her arm ripping it open. Maggots and spiders began to scurry out of her open wound her arm as she began cackling. Liam let out a scream of horror at what was currently happening.

“Now you do it” she slurred to him with a grin so large it appeared caused the edges of her mouth to rip open.

“Do it now” she snarled out at him shoving the scalpel into his hands.

With shaking hands he drug the scalpel along his arm and barely made it ½ an inch before he screamed out in pain dropping the scalpel onto the floor. It seemed as if his breath had left him, as the gash on his arm seemed to be a river of blood.  
  
He heard her muffled screaming but the blood pumping so loudly in his ears it was almost deafening. He could not bring himself to stop the bleeding. This is what she wanted for him it would take away all his guilt. He could hear pounding on the door he had come in through someone was trying to get in. She was skipping around the room singing at the top of her voice. The loud noises were all become too much. He didn’t know if he could handle it.  
  
He heard a bang then everything was silent and his ears were ringing. He looked up to where the source of the bang had come from. Brittany stood at the door mouth gaping in horror. They made eye contact and he shot his eyes down to her rubber shoes. He watched them scurry over to one of the cabinets without a lock and withdrawing gauze. She came over to him and squatted in front of him grabbing his hand and wrapping his arm in the gauze. He felt something drip against his hand and he looked up to see her eyes had a watery look to them.  
  
“What were you doing,” she asked him after she had cleared her voice and stood up. 

Liam remained silent as he followed her actions and stood up as well.

“Nothing” Liam mumbled.

She cocked a brow at him then spoke: “Well you’re going to need stitches I think so you can explain it all to the doctor.”

She began walking out of the room her hips swaying with each step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos make my day!


	8. VII

Liam exhaled the large breath he was not aware he had been holding once his nurse Brittany had left the room. He shut his eyes and took deep breaths in and out to try to calm himself down.

 “You need to get out of this hospital, don’t let them think you’re crazy”

Liams eyes snapped open at her voice.

“I can’t just leave” Liam sputtered out still applying pressure to his wound.

“Who says you can’t just leave? That little red-headed slut” she said cocking a dark thin brow at him.

Her brows were so much different than Brittany’s full read ones.  
  
Liam cleared his throat “Brittany said I need stitches,” Liam said to her feeling nervous about her response.

 “Well, who gives a flying horses crap about what Brittany said you should only care about what I think,” She snapped at him large brown eyes flashing.

Liam was not sure how to respond to this. She stared back at him waiting for his response. Liam let out a large exhale of air through his nose

“Fine after I get stitches I can sneak out of here.”

A satisfied smirk crossed her beautiful hard features. “I knew you’d see reason”

 With that, she walked out of the room the large sweater poncho she was wearing hanging off her shoulders and dragging the ground.  
  
After a few moments, Liam finally pulled himself off his spot on the floor. He stretched out his tight limbs then walked out of the room. Still pressing the gauze to his arm, he began his walk back to his room. On his way, back he passed Brittany who informed him to come with her so he could get those stitches. As he and Brittany were finishing their walk back to his room Brittany spoke up.

“I still want to know why in the heck you were taking slashes at your arm,” she said glancing over at him her large blue eyes holding concern.  
  
“Force of impulse” Liam replied to her dryly.

She turned her head and glared at him as she pushed open the door to his room and followed him in.

“Well the doctor should be in soon until them don’t do any more stuff on a force of impulse,” she said to him sarcasm thick in her voice.

 Once Brittany had left the room, he began fiddling with the gauze. He peeled it back to look at the open wound. It had stopped bleeding but he could see the inside of the wound. Liam calmly leaned over to the trashcan and vomited. What had he done? He could have seriously hurt himself.   
  
“Ugh you’re such an annoying baby”

Liam looked up at her wiping the vomit from the corners of his mouth.

“You can’t even stomach your own mistakes,” she said letting out a sardonic laugh.

“God, why do I even bother with you-you're so annoying. I mean honestly, the only reason I have not left you is that no one else will want you. You’re honestly so sad and pathetic not to mention a murderer.”

Her voice took on a sinister almost evil tone at the word murderer. Liam swallowed thickly the vision of the little girl taking over his mind.   
  
“We need to leave now.” She snapped at him.

Liam was confused why she wanted to leave so bad.

 “Why?” Liam questioned.

“Because that little detective is coming to talk to you tomorrow and if you don’t want him to arrest you for murder than I suggest we leave.” She replied to him.

Liams eyes widened at this, he had completely forgotten the officer/detective was coming back to talk to him. Liam could not afford to go to jail.  
  
“You’re right,” Liam said.

 “No we need to leave now” she snapped at him annoyance covering her features.

“But I still need to get my stitches,” Liam said.

“Oh, who cares about the damn stitches?” She exclaimed.

“You can give yourself stitches let’s go” she demanded.

 “Okay,” Liam said.

 He walked over to the little cabinet that held his clothes and pulled on the jeans and shirt he was wearing prior to the accident.

“Okay let’s go,” she demanded walking out of the room leaving it open for him to follow.   
  
 Upon exiting his room, she of course was nowhere to be seen. Therefore, Liam had to sneak his way out of the building by himself. It took him a solid 5 minutes to get out. Getting out was much easier than Liam had anticipated. Then it hit him. He did not have a car. Liam groaned out then shoved his hand into his pocket to find his wallet. Liam thanked any religious God that might be real that his wallet remained in his pocket.

Liam stopped the first person he saw walking into the hospital and asked, “Where is the nearest bus stop.”

The elderly woman looked at him sympathetically and then explained it was about 3 miles away.  
  
 Liam smiled at her and thanked her for helping him. Once she was out of sight, he sat down on the curb of the sidewalk and quietly screamed into his hands. He had two options walk 3 miles to the bus stop or go back inside and be stuck in the hospital and possibly be arrested. He sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes in frustration. He knew he had to go back inside she would hate him but he could not walk around with the open wound he currently had on his wrist.

 Liam stood up in defeat from the curb and began making his way back towards the hospital. He saw her in the distance leaning on the side of the hospital. Guilt was settled into the pit of his stomach making him feel as if he was being physically weighed down. As he got closer, he could see her rosebud lips were tightly pursed in annoyance. He knew what she thought of him going back into the hospital but it was his only option. She had to understand this. If she loved him she would understand.   
  
“You stupid piece of crap” she shouted at him once he was within hearing length. He was shocked by her harsh words, which hit him deep in his gut almost like a punch. “I knew you couldn’t do it now you’re going to get what you deserve for murdering that girl” she spat at him angrily spit flying from her lips landing on his face.

Liam was trying to form words mouth opening and closing.

 “You just want to get back in there so you can see that red haired slut,” she said to him tauntingly.

Liam tried to move past her but she was blocking the way.  
  
“Please let me back in. It will get me in much worse trouble with the law if I try to run away! Don’t you think that’ll raise suspicions?” Liam said.

Then it was as if he blinked and she was gone. He let out a sigh. She was someday going to drive him crazy. Now she was mad at him. Great.   
  
 He tried to ignore the fight they had just had. If you could even call it a fight. He made his way back up the stairs to where his room was located as quietly as possible. He made it back up to his room with no problems just like when he snuck out. That was until he reached the room. Where he saw Brittany frantically talking to Hospital security.

“Well shoot.” Liam thought to himself. He finally mustered up the courage to announce his presence to the occupants of the room.

Brittany’s head snapped to where he was standing when he cleared his throat.

“Liam where the heck did you go? The Dr was ready to give you stitches. We could not find you anywhere! It has been like 2 hours.” Brittany practically screamed at him.

“I um went for a walk,” Liam muttered trying to come up with an excuse for his absence.

Brittany rolled her eyes “You have the worst excuses I swear.” She huffed.   
  
  
 “Um, ma’am, since he’s here now, is there anything else we can help with.” One of the tall security guards asked.

“Yeah that’s fine for now but I think I might put in a request for someone to watch his room. He seems to like to sneak off quite often.” Brittany said with an obvious jab at Liam.

 “Yes ma’am we’ll be sure to put in that request.” The same security guard said.

The 4 security guards then exited the room to get back to whatever duties they might have.  
  
Once they had left, Brittany swirled on her heel to face Liam “I’m gonna go get the doctor to do your stitches now. I swear if you move from this spot I’ll have you locked down to this table.” Brittany said clearly frustrated with his recent behaviour.

“Alright.” Liam complied going to sit down on the hard hospital bed.

“Good,” Brittany said seeming satisfied then left the room leaving the door open behind her.

God, he missed her he felt bad for forcing his way back into the hospital but he felt that would give him a lesser chance of going to jail than running away. He needed to earn her love back and soon.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


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